Blog Archives

The Dangers of Grass

imagesSo apparently grass is now the most deadly factor in sport, ever. Everyone that has ever tried to play a sport on grass will know the risks of physical activity on the stuff. You can take your concrete basketball courts or ice rinks, no danger there. Real fear is playing a non contact sport on slightly damp grass, laid on soft ground.

Right that sound stupid I know but watching the BBC’s coverage of Wimbledon you would be mistaken for thinking the players were going out and playing in the kind of pearl you could only create by replacing the ball with a grenade (On a side note, did anyone ever play Sensible Soccer on WWII mode where the ball was a grenade? Was brilliant, used Cannon fonder animation as well. Ace, but I digress). The story is that 7 players have been injured today at the tennis festival and has left about three players in the tournament.  Surprisingly, the main issue is apparently the grass being  possessed somehow? One of the players even blamed it on dead grass. That right, zombie grass. In its eternal moaning for roots its been tripping the players.

Its not like the beeb to blow a British sporting even all out of context (the Olympics, Any England football match). They get really defensive as if these players and sullying the good name of Britain while at the same time trying not to piss off the same players that are moaning. Its like a dog chasing its tail watching them talk about it. The only words of sense I have heard are from Hewitt, a man who the commentators slagged every two second in his last game for being Australian, who basically said “its the same as every year, deal with it” (I’m paraphrasing here) and “Mad as a Hatter” Boris Beaker who said “its grass, it sometimes gets slippy. You are pro’s, deal with it” (again paraphrasing).

So the only why to sort this out is to play week two on ice so tennis players will work out what slippery actually mean (and it would be bloody hilarious) . I’m sure all of injuries are genuine and its sad for them to be out of a big part of their lives but it’s probably from playing a sport where a match can last four hours, on rock hard surfaces that have caused these complications and not that the courts are sponsored by Tefal this year.

Anyway, man up tennis.

Fall

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: